I May or May Not Be Frightened by a Supermarket

Here's a "So LA" story for you. I had to make my daily supermarket run for work this morning, and as I pulled up to the Henry's Farmers' Market in Burbank, I saw about five 15-passenger vans, some Star Waggons trailers, and black curtains over the windows. My first thought was not, "Ooo, what are they filming here?" or "OMG, maybe I'll be in a shot!" It was "Uggggh, I just wanna buy some food and get back to the office!"

Just another day at Henry's Farmers' Market.

Luckily, they were still setting up, so I did manage to get food and get out. In case you were wondering, they were filming "Private Practice" there, but I didn't see anyone besides crew members. Taye Diggs must have been hanging out in his Star Waggon.

After work, I decided to go to Whole Foods for the first time in search of dairy-free mac and cheese in a box. Whole Foods is an intense place full of allergen-free food and environmental propaganda. It's trying to go for the wood-and-chalkboard charm of Trader Joe's without the jaunty nautical theme. At Trader's, there are signs that encourage you to use their reusable bags by asking, "Did you remember your bag today?" or "Would you like to buy a reusable bag today? They're only a dollar!" At Whole Foods, there's a giant chalkboard outside that blares, "SAVE THE EARTH! Bring your own bag!" Ok! Relax. They're saying it like that's the only Earth-saving option. Although, if it is, I guess I should probably get around to doing it. It is cheaper than buying a hybrid.

Inside, I saw a family of progressive-looking gingers in the cracker aisle, picking out healthy snacks. The teenage boy ginger was helming the shopping cart and glanced at me, wordlessly informing me that 1. he couldn't believe his entire family was shopping at Whole Foods either, and 2. he was actively ignoring the teachable moment his mom was trying to turn this trip into.

I didn't know my way around this new-fangled supermarket, and at one point, I came to the end of an aisle and looked both ways before crossing, as if crossing the street I grew up on for the first time. I did manage to find the dairy-free mac-and-cheese in a box I was looking for, along with some coconut milk ice cream I'm also looking forward to and some "Eggless Tofu Salad" which I picked up for a second, smirked at, and put back immediately. At the checkout, the cashier asked me if I wanted a freezer bag for my ice cream. I said no and then had to ask, "A freezer bag? What does that even look like?" The cashier picked up a smaller paper bag that said something like "For keeping cool" on it and said, "You know, sometimes people buy ice cream and go on long trips." So, apparently, Whole Foods has enchanted paper bags, too.

Hopefully, I like the dairy-free stuff I picked up. If I do, I'm going back to Whole Foods - with a tour guide.