I guess I'm a Texas Rangers fan now.

If you've talked to me for more than ten minutes this baseball season, then you already know that my brother works for the Texas Rangers. (No big deal.) Last month, my parents and I flew down to Dallas to see him, see some games, and see the JFK assassination spot, which requires its own blog post.

The Rangers went 1-1 in the two games I saw against the Angels (who suck), and I guess I'm a Rangers fan now. I have a shirt and everything (thanks, Mom).

And now... Things at Rangers Ballpark that Should Be at Every Stadium

- Flex Cam - Dudes and dudettes flexing on the big screen. It's far less awkward than the Kiss Cam.
- Stealing Third Base - They get a kid to "steal third" while the grounds crew is raking the infield and replacing bases late in the game. The kid has to run in from the outfield, pick up third base, and run back with the base all in 30 seconds. It's easy for little kids with a ton of energy, and it's fun for everyone else who could never do that in a million years but want to watch anyway.
- Famous Historical Mascots - Sam Houston, Jim Bowie, and Davy Crockett - in mascot form! And they all run around the field. People don't bet on who wins.
- No Other Flags Except the American Flag and the State Flag - Most ballparks have the flags of all the teams and fly them in their respective standing order. Not Rangers Ballpark. You're in Texas, and they don't let you forget it.
- Stadium Waves That Turn into Forces of Nature - I'm a huge fan of the stadium wave. It's one of my favorite social phenomena, so much so that I once wrote a paper about it for my Social Psychology class. So, imagine my delight when the Rangers fans attempted to start one during a slow part of the game. It was pretty weak at first, but it quickly grew into a force so powerful, it could only be stopped by the 7th Inning Stretch.
- Gluten-Free Hot Dogs - They were next to all the junk, of course, but they were still there.
- Spirit Squad - There are no cheerleaders at Rangers Ballpark, but there are girls in Rangers jerseys, short shorts, and knee highs giving out prizes and dancing on the dugouts. They're cute, but not in your face about it. Plus, their boobs aren't hanging out. (Sorry, guys.)
- A Horse Mascot That Takes Off His Hat for the National Anthem Somehow - I missed how this guy was able to reach up and pull the little hat off his huge horse head, but I'm still impressed. Yes, it's possible that he went on the field without his hat to begin with, but I like to pretend he was magically able to remove it himself while in costume.
- Polite Texan Women as Security - There's nothing like a Texan woman looking you in the eye and firmly asking, "Are these your seats?" with that polite Texan accent. I thought guilt was just a Jewish thing. I now know better.